Mindful speech principles

[mac_stone]

I have a number of friends who work very hard to adhere to these guidelines, when choosing whether or not to say something:

Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?

I've been giving this a good deal of thought, of late. It honestly seems to me a pretty good rule of thumb for moving through the world.
I certainly have a temper, I know. So like most humans, I struggle from moment-to-moment with what to say, what to let go, and when to walk away.

ETA Meanwhile, I spent the day doing hoof-trims on a bunch of horses, and I'm staggering tired. So if I'm slow to respond in the comments, please know it's probably just because I fell asleep in my chair. For the record - this is NOT a conversation about race. Attempts to tie this conversation to the GCADofDoom2009 will be summarily deleted.

Comments

[athenais.livejournal.com]

I hesitate over the third one a lot, as my choice often comes down to "Do I need to be heard more than I need the other person to be comfortable?" A lot of times I don't want the drama that comes from making someone else face an unpleasant truth, but I get tired of being assumed to be a weenie just because I care more for someone else's comfort levels than for my own right to give my opinion on someone.

[voidmonster.livejournal.com]

Yeah. That's the one I grapple with too.

I try very hard to not pretend that I am anyone else's growth and learning. It's their job, not mine, and more often than not the reward for pointing out what's uncomfortable is a sound thrashing. Especially when you're right. So I tend to just hold my tongue a lot.

Which leads to running my mouth because it all gets bottled up with coke and mentos.